Monday, November 16, 2009

Here's an intriguing and surely inspired proposal from my good friend -- and endlessly creative ideologue -- Steve Plaut. I think there's some potential for this idea. What do you think?

"Friends, I have at long last come to a realization. The only way to create stability and peace in the Middle East is through creating a new independent state and homeland in Palestine and moving all of the Palestinians into it.

"I am of course referring to Palestine, Texas.

"Yes, there is a town in Texas named Palestine and frankly I think it would be a wonderful place to erect a homeland for Palestinians. The weather is not all that different from that in the area of the Land of Israel referred to incorrectly by some people as Palestine.

"Moreover, there are oodles of advantages to moving all of the Palestinians to Palestine (Texas).

"First, their water problems would be solved. Palestine, Texas is home to the lovely Lake Palestine. Second, the largest employer in Palestine is the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. I guess that means the prison authorities. And who better to host the large number of Palestinians moving in to town and making them feel snug and comfortable!

"Moreover, Palestine has a rich cultural and historic heritage. The town’s web page claims there are more than 1800 historical sites in the town. It even has its own “Old City,” its own ‘Ir ‘Atika, called, well “Old Town.”

"Palestine was where the Space Shuttle crashed. It also has a wonderful history of accommodating itself to those with strong religious beliefs. David Koresh, the whacko who ran the religious cult calling itself the “Branch Davidians,” set up his first religious camp in Palestine, Texas. The Palestinians could name the site “Al Aqsa,” if they wish.

"After all, they have as much bona fide theological connection to that site as they do to East Jerusalem!

"The founder of the “Branch Davidians,” a flake named Victor Houteff, wanted to set up the new Kingdom of King David there in Palestine, Texas. And he was into having dozens of virgins as his reward also!

"Palestine has parks and a library and a YMCA. Just like Jerusalem! There is a nice branch of the University of Texas at Tyler that operates in Palestine. I am sure it could be renamed Bir Zeit or Ben Gurion University. It even has a gazebo. Take a look at downtown Palestine here: There is even some oil in the ground nearby.

"And best of all, it really is not too far to commute to Fort Hood in case any Palestinian still wants to protest occupation!"

How about it? Let's contact Governor Rick Perry and suggest it. Perry's one of the US's finest governors, and no doubt considering replacing the Community Organizer in his slot at the earliest possible time.

If Perry would agree to this, we'd have peace in the world -- everyone says that the only thing preventing world peace right now is that the 'Palestinians' don't have a state of their own. So Perry could take credit for Peace in the Middle East, and be elected President. Then America could go back to being America instead of Amerikka. All would be well.

Think about it.


  1. As long as there's not a Palestine, Minnesota, I'm all for it.

  2. The Texas version is pronounced 'Palasteen'
    (Let's make the Texas place Jewish and spell it
    'Palestein'). Shavua tov!