Saturday, May 16, 2009

Poor, poor Porky

At this moment, PM Bibi Netanyahu is winging it to Washington to meet with the Community Organizer – and the rumors are flying faster than his plane. Educated guesses range from “No he won’t capitulate”, or “Yes, he’ll agree in principle” – with promises of a Likud rebellion against him at home, if he does.

Who knows?

We may as well relax – it’s too late for any more letters, pleas or protests.
So let’s think about something funnier. Like Porky Pig and his ancestors.

For several days running, the Internet was filled with horrific photos of Egyptians shooting all their pigs. You probably thought it was because they were worried about swine flu.

Not so. They were killing the pigs because they believe pigs are descended from Jews and therefore must be killed. Jews must be slaughtered, both those walking around now, on two legs, and those who are descended from Jews, who now live in the form of pigs.

Palestinian Media Watch issued a news story datelined Cairo. “Sheikh Ahmed Ali Othman, supervisor of the Da’awa of the Egyptian Waqf, issued a fatwa (ruling) which says that “pigs, in our time, have their origins in Jews who angered Allah, such that he turned them into monkeys, pigs and Satan worshippers. It is therefore mandatory to slaughter all the pigs.”

The sheikh based his ruling on a verse in the Koran, sura 5, verse 60: “Say [to the People of the Book - Jews and Christians] Come and I shall make known to you who receives the worst retribution of all from Allah: those whom Allah has cursed and upon whom He has poured His wrath, whom He has made into monkeys and pigs, and who have served abominations. Their place is worst of all, and their deviation is the greatest of all...`

The way it worked, the sheikh said, was that Allah became so angry at Moses and his followers that he transformed them all into pigs.

From this, two theories flow: first is that the new pigs remained pigs and died without reproducing any baby pigs. The second is that the Jews who were turned into pigs did reproduce – and their line continues today.

Sort of gives Charles Darwin a run for his money, huh? One has to wonder why ALL they Jews weren’t turned into pigs. Either that, or why, if the original new Jewish pigs did not reproduce, why any pigs remain today.

Anyway, poor Porky. This would not be a good time for a trip to the pyramids.

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